Whats in a name?

Salaam Alaikum everyone....

I was just sending an email out to a friend and I signed it my "Muslim name".  Then, I sent one to my father and I signed it my "Christian name".......hmmmm

I am confused... Who the heck am I?? loool  Sometimes I forget who knows me as what.  My family back in the States call me my Christian name while friends and family here only know me as Ayah.  All of my legal documents have my birth name.  Even my marriage contract.  The only thing that has Ayah on it is my Shahadda.  So, where does that leave me??  Confused, all the time..lool

I took the Muslim name Ayah because of its meaning.  Signs and proofs from Allah, thats how I felt when I came to Islam 2 years ago.  He gave me signs and proofs that this is what I needed to do..Alhamdulillah!  I believed it would help me "blend in to the Muslim society" better.  Now I am wondering if that was such a good idea.

I think we are all unique.  Why try to change who we are to fit in?  Shouldn't I have learned this in High School?? lool  I miss my old name, my old identity.  I believe I can be a good Muslim and still hold on to my birth name.  I mean, its a pretty basic American name, nothing against Allah or his messenger(Pbuh).  My problem is this, how can I say, "Well, Ayah was nice, but I prefer you call me (insert name here) now".  My husbands whole family know me by Ayah, some dont even know that is not my birth name.

The point I am getting at is I dont think it is necessary to change your name when you become a Muslim.  I chose my name Ayah because it meant something special to me, and I was told it was a good thing to do.  Now I am having doubts.

What do you all think???

So this is what its like....

As Salaam Alaikum...

So, I am rounding the corner of week 7 and now feeling the effects of full blown morning sickness and bloat.  Wow!  I feel hungover, for those of you that have been down that road before can relate.

Crackers and 7-up....they have made a constant bedside companion.

I love every minute of it!!  Mashallah!  Bring it on...I am ready!

Ok, off to bed I go.  It seems I am less likely to hug the porcelain  throne if I am in the horizontal position..

Irritated

As Salaamu Alaikum everyone....

It's me again with a little something I find irritating.  My husbands second wife is going on and on about if "he takes another wife I want a divorce"..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wth????  REALLY, YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT???!!  I said to her, "Why are you any different?  What makes you better than me or any other woman out there?  Do you think my husband found you and you fulfilled some missing void in his life??"  YA RAB!!

She said, "No, he married me khalas!  He should not marry a 3rd, I would not be able to handle it.  I am not like you".....  OMG!!  Please Allah, give me the strength and the knowledge to know what to say to her and not hit her upon the head!!

I replied with, "You think this has been easy on me??  It has been a living hell!  Try going thru this pregnant with the emotions running thru you!  How dare you think you are better than me.. I pray Allah will forgive you and your tongue"

I need suggestions on this one dear sisters..  I am really at my wits end because every time I talk to her, she is freaking out he will marry again because he wont tell her NO, he wont marry again.  I am to the point that I want him to marry again, just to be spiteful so she knows how it feels.... May God forgive me.

Stop or we will shoot!

Salaam Alaikum everyone...

So, I have a funny story.  Well, if you are my husband, maybe not so funny of a story...LOOOL

Since Bahrain declared a State of Emergency, all roads leading into certain neighborhoods have set up Check Points you have to go through.  These are very large checkpoints... full Saud and GCC military or local check points, with our local police and military.  Ours is local, with about 2 to 4 armed guards that usually smile, say Salaams and send you on your way.

Not last night.

We were coming home from the movies, after curfew, at about 11:30pm.  So, they are obviously more alert.  My husband, like most men, have a lead foot.  Plus we were talking so he was a bit distracted.  The check points are new to all of us, so we need to get used to them.  Apparently my husband forgot there was such a thing as a checkpoint to our road ........................

We round the corner doing about 30 miles an hour.  No cars on the road so he was zipping along.  I see the men up ahead putting their hand out to signal him to stop or at the least slow down.  He keeps on talking.  Slow down ... Slow down... (this is me as I am putting on my imaginary break.  Finally, with out fear of being run down, an officer steps out in front of the vehicle as my husband is stopping the vehicle.  He not only stepped out in front of the vehicle.....he had his machine gun drawn!!!!!  (I think I stopped breathing at this point)  My hubby roles down the window, a few words are exchanged and we are off.  I said , "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???  WHAT DID THEY SAY?  WHY WERE YOU GOING SO FAST?  IS THERE A FIRE SOMEWHERE???!!!"  He was a little humbled and didnt say much except for this,  "They said they almost shot me!!"

I had to chuckle a little bit.  I am glad they put the fear of God into him.  Now today when we came home, he slowly went thru....hahahah

Life in a war zone......BIG FUN!!!  

Disappointed

Salaam...

I had my first OB apt the other day an I can honestly say, "I am not in Kansas anymore" :(  My Dr. is cold and short.  I went into the room and the first thing she asked me was, "What are you here for".... She asked me no questions, nothing... I told her some history and thats it.  She started to do an abdominal ultrasound which confused me, I am only a little over 6 weeks.  She tells me.. "Well, we cant see anything, maybe because it's too soon or maybe because you dont have a full bladder"...DUH!!  Ya think??!!  I said, Use the transvaginal one...its right there...You can easily detect early pregnancies.  So, reluctantly, she did.  She was in there for less than a minute, detected 2 gestational sacs but told me one was 9mm and the other was 5mm and most likely wont make it.  That was it.... She walked around the curtain to go sit back at her desk.  I was in shock!  She told me to come back in 3 weeks for another scan.  She wouldn't give me a due date because of the inconclusive scan.  No heartbeat.  If she would have stayed up there longer than 1 min she could have found it.

In the US things are so much different.  It is a warm feeling.  I have been with many friends and family members when they go to the OB Dr or midwife and it is such a great experience.  Here, they rush you in and out like cattle.  Its cold and in-personable..  And this was at a private hospital...I can only imagine what it is like at the Government hospital.  Oh yeah , I forgot.  I did go to the Government Clinic to confirm my pregnancy.  I told her that I have Factor V Leiydon (blood clotting disorder).  She then asked me when was my last ABORTION!!!  WTH???!!  Apparently Ms. I am so smart, thinks since you are an American and have blood clots they are from Abortions??!!  Seriously!  Cause you know, us American woman are so "loose" and run around having abortions every so often.....How insulting!!!  I thought my husband was going to strangle her!

I am sad and disappointed.  I have waited so long for this experience and it was nothing but a huge disappointment.  My husband and I are going to go to a different hospital in the next few days to see if we can at least get an Hcg blood panel done and possibly see if there is a heartbeat and the learn the outcome of baby #2.

I want to go back to the states.  I want the wonderful healthcare that I am accustomed too. I want a midwife, a nurse that cares.  I want a Dr. who knows my name.  I dont want to be in a place that dosent know you by name and treats you like just another woman popping out a kid.

Wow!  Who would have thought it was like this!!  I will keep you posted on the next leg of my journey.

One question for you out there.... How important is having an HCG count taken?  Especially if a twin pregnancy is detected?  And an iron count for someone (me) with a history of anemia?  Should my urine have been tested for presence of sugar??  Do I need a pre natal vitamin other than folic acid???