Saturday, June 11, 2011

Can you see me now??

Salaam everyone!!

I pray everyone is doing well.  I am adjusting to this whole new world of being pregnant.  From craving corn, swelling, and gaining weight.  It's quite the experience and I love how my "bump" is getting bigger every day, Mashallah!

So, since I am pregnant and live where the average temp is about 120 degrees, lets just say that I can hardly breath.  The asthma I have doesn't help much either.  So, I have decided to take it off.............The Niqaab that is!  I can not take that thing hanging over my face any more.  I freak out on it! LOOL  I have agreed to still wear it at the family house when my brother in law is around but for going out in the nasty heat... NO WAY!

Sooo, my husband and I went the the Cinema last night.  (Limitless, good movie)  We met up with his two sisters and her husband.  This was the first time he has seen my face since I married my husband over a year ago.  He looked.  Looked some more.  ( Coming from a Scandinavian back ground, I am the furthest from Arab you can get).  I never made eye contact with him one time but I could tell he was looking and by the way my husband was shoving me behind him, I knew he noticed as well.  The minute we get in the car I hear it.  "How dare he!  Someone needs to tell him!"  yada yada yada  He immediately grabs the phone to shout at his brother in law.  I freak out because there is going to be a scene and then I get the lecture how things are "different" here in the Gulf.  Really?  You mean I am not in Kansas anymore?? Sheesh!  Thanks for letting me know!

I do not get it.  Why can't they lower their gaze??  Why do I have to suffer in the heat because they are a bunch of freaky, sex crazed men that can't keep their eyes to themselves?  This is the problem I have about making something taboo.  It's human nature to want what you cant have, what people tell you is forbidden to you makes you want it all the more.  This is caused by keeping everyone and everything segregated.  Men and women do not know how to act around each other because they NEVER ARE AROUND ONE ANOTHER!  It just pisses me off that there is no accountability for these men.  Women are just told they need to cover up more.  What??!  It is 120 degrees, I am wearing clothes, an abaya, under scarf and a shayla.  Meanwhile, the men run about in a t shirt and shorts!!!  PUHHH Leeez!

I wish I would have never put on that stupid ninja mask because now I am doomed to stay in it for all eternity.   All because I look "different" and heaven forbid someone look at me, or worse yet, not be able to lower their gaze!  Is this Islam?  I do not understand.

Remember in the 70's when the womens movement swept through the Country and everyone was burning their bras??  I say we do that with the Niqqab...better yet.  Let's all say we cant control our urges because the men are so sexy and guilt them into wearing it!  Lets see how long it will last when they have to learn to breath in the summer heat with that thing hanging over their face!



  1. Salaam

    Can you just not wear it? Or will your husband be really angry? Because it's not wajib, and trust me I know how you feel lol. There is no way I can wear niqab in this Gulf heat and I'm not even pregnant :p

  2. I loved your comment that men need to wear niqab! I tell my husband all the time that I don't appreciate the amount of cologne he is wearing or how nice his beard looks. lol

  3. I could see myself thinking the same thing in your shoes. I hope you get to dress as you please someday, however that may be; whether it's wearing niqaab or a T-shirt and shorts.

  4. Salam Daisy,

    I am glad you and your babies are doing well Alhamdilah!! Niqqab is not mandatory the Quran has a verse stating we are allowed to have our faces and hands up to our wrist uncover. If the men can't control themselves then they should ask Allah for guidance. Just as women need to learn self control men need to also.
    Allah would never ask us to do or wear anything that will cause us pain or suffering.

    May Allah give you and your babies and husband peace and health!!



  5. Although I've only ever worn the niqaab for like a minute or so, I can imagine that in the summer heat it's very uncomfortable. I also agree wholeheartedly that if you don't want to wear it, you shouldn't, because I think a woman should wear it out of conviction, if she believes that it would please God. But in the end, your safety is also important. Where you live, do the vast majority of women wear niqaab, or are there women without it too? It's sad, but if men are not used to it there, you might get harassed. I know it shouldn't be like that, but it is. Maybe you can wear it sometimes and other times not? Like when you are visiting male relatives of your husband, you can wear it, because it seems to cause problems if you don't. But like if you go out to the citycenter, which is usually more touristic I presume, you can wear hijaab and no niqaab. Just a thought ;-)

    Good luck, sis! May God bless you and your baby, ameen!

  6. You gonna start humming 'We Shall Over-Come' when you have to go out in public? :)

  7. LOL Niqab burning! It's hot where I live but nowhere near 120 degrees. Ugh, I'm a big baby too when it comes to the veil. Lol I've threatened to take it off several times, but haven't yet had to nerve to follow through. It really amazes me to see the women who do cover their face and really want to. I felt a lot less pressure about covering when I learned it was not, a fard, or wajib, but mustahab, (according to the majority of Ulama). Allah knows best. One thing for sure men have no idea how difficult it really is for us. May Allah help us with our difficulties, and bring us happiness, AMEEN!

  8. Careful Daisy ur gonna start getting some heat for your "burn niqaab" comments from the crazies :-P

  9. Salam Daisy,
    Well I think being forced (directly or indirectly) to wear something that's not in your heart is pointless, there is no reward in it. If you don't like the wearing the niqab or don't believ in wearing it, you should take it off, otherwise you will start to resent it and possibly other things or people close to you. Just my 2 cents.
    Salam Alikum

  10. Hi guys...Sorry so late in responding. Pregnancy has made me a lazy blogger..

    @amal--No, my husband doesn't make me wear it. I go out with him all the time without it. It's just around family and friends he gets a little weird.

    @Kaighla-- Yes! OMG! The perfume they wear is outrageous. My husband bathes in it before he goes anywhere. Crazy men!

    @Lady of the Ozarks--Thanks for your comment dear. I am happy to say that I wear what I wear because it is my choice and I am happy with that. Alhamdulillah! Love being at home and wearing the t shirt and jeans :-)

    @Mrs. Khan.. I completely agree with you. It seems to me that men have lost the degree of accountability in their actions. It is sad that many of them have forgotten to lower their gaze. My husband, me and the baby are doing great! Thanks for asking and I hope all is well with your family...

    @Safiyah.. Thanks for the comment. Yes, you are right. A majority of women here wear them. I would say it is about a 70% split. I wear it on occasions that I choose. Such as going to a Souk or an crowded place. And of course, to the family home.

    @mjblues...hehehe.. I will leave the humming to you! :=) How are you? Haven't heard from you in a while. How are things in the Midwest?

    @Saleema .. Amen Sister! Men haven't the slightest idea how difficult it is. It is truly a test that I am not sure I am up to take. May Allah make it easy on you as well..

    @♥ααℓiα♥ .. hehehe. Yes, I love to hear from the crazies! Pissing off the Salifi, crazies and the "professional bloggers" seem to be what I do best lately. Hugs to you!

    @Muslim Convert. Yes, I agree with you. Being forced to do something will only make you resent it more in the future. This is why I took it off. I can't see wearing it just because men can not lower their gaze. Why should I suffer in the heat? No way! I have agreed to wear it on certain occasions. This is the culture here. It is what it is.

  11. Salem a3lykum i hope to wear niqab one day and I have to tell you may be now you took it off but one day you''l put it again on your face!

    I agree with you some men just stare at us sometimes one followed me while i was shopping with my mother and THEN he asked me my phone number!I refused but I met him an other time so I gave him my brother's number and guess what...he never called!

    Whatever when things like you described arrive i'm just like WTH? (when i say that the f bomb is very close...)

    Whatever I really like your posts!

    I have a blog too but it's about beauty and make up here it is

    Kisses lovely!


Life is too short to be hateful. Just because you disagree with something, doesn't make it wrong. I welcome your comments but please refrain from being hateful. :)