Friday, April 1, 2011

Disappointed

Salaam...

I had my first OB apt the other day an I can honestly say, "I am not in Kansas anymore" :(  My Dr. is cold and short.  I went into the room and the first thing she asked me was, "What are you here for".... She asked me no questions, nothing... I told her some history and thats it.  She started to do an abdominal ultrasound which confused me, I am only a little over 6 weeks.  She tells me.. "Well, we cant see anything, maybe because it's too soon or maybe because you dont have a full bladder"...DUH!!  Ya think??!!  I said, Use the transvaginal one...its right there...You can easily detect early pregnancies.  So, reluctantly, she did.  She was in there for less than a minute, detected 2 gestational sacs but told me one was 9mm and the other was 5mm and most likely wont make it.  That was it.... She walked around the curtain to go sit back at her desk.  I was in shock!  She told me to come back in 3 weeks for another scan.  She wouldn't give me a due date because of the inconclusive scan.  No heartbeat.  If she would have stayed up there longer than 1 min she could have found it.

In the US things are so much different.  It is a warm feeling.  I have been with many friends and family members when they go to the OB Dr or midwife and it is such a great experience.  Here, they rush you in and out like cattle.  Its cold and in-personable..  And this was at a private hospital...I can only imagine what it is like at the Government hospital.  Oh yeah , I forgot.  I did go to the Government Clinic to confirm my pregnancy.  I told her that I have Factor V Leiydon (blood clotting disorder).  She then asked me when was my last ABORTION!!!  WTH???!!  Apparently Ms. I am so smart, thinks since you are an American and have blood clots they are from Abortions??!!  Seriously!  Cause you know, us American woman are so "loose" and run around having abortions every so often.....How insulting!!!  I thought my husband was going to strangle her!

I am sad and disappointed.  I have waited so long for this experience and it was nothing but a huge disappointment.  My husband and I are going to go to a different hospital in the next few days to see if we can at least get an Hcg blood panel done and possibly see if there is a heartbeat and the learn the outcome of baby #2.

I want to go back to the states.  I want the wonderful healthcare that I am accustomed too. I want a midwife, a nurse that cares.  I want a Dr. who knows my name.  I dont want to be in a place that dosent know you by name and treats you like just another woman popping out a kid.

Wow!  Who would have thought it was like this!!  I will keep you posted on the next leg of my journey.

One question for you out there.... How important is having an HCG count taken?  Especially if a twin pregnancy is detected?  And an iron count for someone (me) with a history of anemia?  Should my urine have been tested for presence of sugar??  Do I need a pre natal vitamin other than folic acid???

12 comments:

  1. well dear for gov hospital its really common if he doc is very cold! heheh try private clinic or private hospital :) all the best with ur baby

    Silla

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  2. @Frasilla...thanks... Unfortunately, this is a Private hospital. I only went to the Health clinic for the initial confirmation of pregnancy. I went to the private hospital for the first appt with the dr. This is all too frustrating... Thanks for your well wishes...

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  3. too bad. they should have provide friendly n welcoming environment especially when it comes to pregnant women. dont worry dear, ishaallah u will find a better doctor :*

    Silla

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  4. Wow. I cant believe that doctor asked you when was your last abortion! Wth was wrong with her??

    Anyway, don't let that crappy doctor spoil your experience! You'll find a good doctor, inshallah, and then everything will be as amazing as you thought :)

    & inshallah everything is ok with baby #2. How exciting would that be to have twins? :)

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  5. That totally sucks!!! What kind of service is that?! I found out I was pregnant in Egypt and had a doctor there but he was actually really nice and friendly and not rushing at all. When I got back to Canada around 15 weeks the first doctor I got I didn't click with... I thought she was a bit cold but it was nothing compared to your experience!!! Definitely look for someone else... You deserve better and I'm sure you can find better. I just had my first appointment too for my second pregnancy with the same doctor I changed to last time - so glad I made the change even if it was for a small thing like not clicking!

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  6. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

    Which hospital did you go to, International or AMH? My friend is at AMH, but I don't think she sees patients anymore as she did her MA in midwifery and is head of the department or something like that now. However, she believes in proper care, she's British and did her courses in England, mashaa'Allah. She set up comfortable, cozy birthing rooms and a water birth facility there over 12 years ago, mashaa'Allah. Her name is Caroline Black and you might want to call AMH and ask for her directly and talk to her. Say her long, lost friend Mai told you to call her.

    As for the tests, it depends what route you are going as to whether they will do those this early. At a doctors/hospital - yes. At a birth center, most normally - no. I went to birth centers for both my pregnancies in the USA and they don't even see you until you are around 12 weeks. After that, all the tests are done - HCG, urine, blood, etc.

    HOWEVER, if you have a history of health problems and unusual circumstances, then most certainly it is expected that they will monitor it closely from the start. You need to know if your HCG levels are in the appropriate range. That is the most important and tell-tale factor as to the strength and stability of your pregnancy. Fortunately, your two sore friends are an excellent sign that all is well, inshaa'Allah.

    I wonder if you might not check out a private OBGYN? I don't mean in a hospital, I mean just a private practice. Check the phone directory for them inshaa'Allah. I think you would have better personal attention and time spent.

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  7. Hey there! I am so sorry that you didn't have a warm experience :( That really makes me sad.

    You should be on folic acid and prenatal vitamins - they are different things completely....and there is some iron in the PNV's but depending on how anemic you are you might need additional iron also...however, if you get a lot of nausea, you might find the iron a little bit much for you...

    Generally HCG test is taken approx a wk apart - only if you want...if the numbers are going higher then you are pregnant. As far as your anemia...they should be doing a hemoglobin as part of your prenatal workup. They usually will check (each MD visit) your urine for protein, which is more important later in your pregnancy.
    The "sugar" or glucose test will be done at some point, right now may be a little early...and isn't really meaningful unless you have had problems with diabetes.

    You probably have researched well the things you should look out for with your FVL, but to connect it with abortions? That's plain silly.

    Twins early in pregnancy are more common than you would think. There is something called VTS (vanishing twin syndrome)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanishing_twin
    Don't worry about it - it does happen, I have looked after patients who have experienced this - and it doesn't mean anything as far as the other baby goes. I am sorry that she didn't explain things to you :(

    You can use our government's website for any info if you like:
    www.healthlinkbc.org
    It's free and if you type in Pregnancy, there is quite a bit of info in plain english (as opposed to medicalese!)

    Here is a BIG hug from and L&D RN.... hopefully your next MD visit goes a lot better.
    :(

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  8. welcome to the middle east.....sorry to hear you had a bad experience, but sadly this is typical. I was pregnant in Syria, and then went back home in my 20th week. During my doctor's visit I was constantly chastised for not gaining enough weight, other than that the doctor never really talked to me. It turned out I had an issue with the umbilical cord and it wasn't able to give my little girl enough nutrition, I developed pre eclampsia and delivered her at 35 weeks with her only weighing 4 lbs. I would try another doctor, ask around and see who family members recommend, if you are still concerned you might want to think about having the baby(ies) in the states

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  9. I forgot to tell you this. In the Middle East, they don't use the term miscarriage. They say abortion for everything. I doubt that she meant anything that you were thinking, only that she thought you probably had a miscarriage before. I remember well because I had a miscarriage in Bahrain and they called it an abortion. Perhaps because the medical term is spontaneous abortion.

    That, at least, isn't something to take offense about. Everything else is, though.

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  10. Most medical people use the term abortion, a therapeutic abortion is the term used for abortion done on request.Spontaneous abortion is a miscarriage.
    Because of your blood disorder she should ask that question.
    Most practitioners won't do scans that early ,at that stage it doesn't provide any info expect comfirming a pregnancy and that's easily done with bloodwork.
    In sha Allah you will find someone who has the time to answer your questions.

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  11. If you don't have a previoushistory of diabetes or GDM no need to do a urine glucose screen that early in pregnancy,GDM is a second trimester complication.
    You should get a CBC that includes your HBG check.You will require iron supplements if you are anemic.
    Prenatal vitamins are recommended for the duration of your pregnancy however folic acid is only needed till your 12 week.
    In 3 weeks the scan will showif you are carrying twins ,hormonal levels are not very acurate when there might be an early loss, they stay elevated several days/weekssome times.

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  12. Thanks everyone for your insight to all of these questions. Thanks Mai for the name, I will defiantly be calling there tomorrow. I am hoping to go there next week.

    I now understand the mixup for the word/term abortion. I personally still find it insulting. As far as most medical people using that term, well, this is the first I have heard that term used, especially with patients. Even if the question was to ask when my last mis carriage was, why even ask that before you ask if I have ever been pregnant before??!

    I have a history of being anemic, which is why there is a need for an iron test. The issue of diabetes I now understand. I thought that was something they test you for immediately after pregnancy.

    In regards to wanting HCG work, yes, that is common practice where I am from.. the States. I thought they would want to know if the levels were rising. I just found it strange they didn't run ANY blood panel...

    To put it this way, I was more confused, with more questions then when I went in. Insha'Allah, I will find more out in the next week or two.

    Thanks again to all of you... You are great!!

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