The shocker for the day!!

So.... I take my 2 cats to the vet. The little female, spay and lion cut(shave). The male cat, just shaved.

You may have read my earlier posts about my little female cat in heat driving the house crazy. I figured the time had come to go get it done. Mind you, she is Turkish long hair and the male is Persian so this is the reason for the need to shave them. Also keep this in mind for later in the story. It gets better.

I take them today for their "procedure", since the Male cat has already been "fixed" its just the female under the knife today. I sign the paperwork, meet with the groomer and tell them what I want and they tell me they will call when everything is done.

I get a call about 15 min ago saying they were just about to start to spay the "female" cat when they noticed something.... Actually 3 things. One bat and two balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "her" bits and pieces were there for the whole world to see after the shaving. I am in SHOCK!! The vet then asks if I would like "her" castrated?! My little sweet girl cat is a BOY!! All the howling and caring on at night I thought was just her in the mood! Boy was I wrong!! I guess, since "she" is a Turkish, I could never tell. Then again I never closely inspected it either.


All I can say is "Holy Crap!!"

Wow....A must see!!

Ohhh Yeah!!!

Time for the Happy Dance....The Check for the IRS has cleared and I OFFICIALLY have a $0 ballance!!!  My ex and I waited a long time for this day.  I hope he is enjoying it as much as I am..InshaAllah!


Whoop Whoop!!

Deserving of more time?

Salaam to all of you out there....

Today I will pose an interesting question that has now come up in my interesting polygyny triangle I call life..  LOOOL

If a man remarries a young woman who has never been married (virgin) do you believe that entitles her to the following "special treatments"?

1)  Higher mahr than one that has been previously married (not a virgin)
2)  More time spent with the husband because she is new to marriage in general
3)  Aside from the 7 days spent with the new bride, any time after will need to be made up, right?

These are some issues I am facing now.  Please help with your advice....

Jazakallahu Khairn!!

Happy....Breath....Pray..God help me..

Salaam Everyone...

First of all, I want to thank AFSW woman for the advice on breathing.  Aside from almost passing out from taking  A LOT of deep breaths today, it worked good.   My shoulders dont feel quite so bad today.

I am trying really hard to stick with the positve vibe that my new blog is all about.  It's just some days you cant be that cheery. 

I feel like I am in a hole trying to claw my way out.  It seems that the world is an unfamiliar place with strange people.  I miss the old way of things, people and places that are and were familiar to me.  Will this ever pass?  Will I ever feel at "home" here in the Middle East?  Will the ghosts of my past haunt me forever?

Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of me moving here and leaving the good old USA behind.  A place I called home for 32 years is no longer my home.  My family that was there for me for the 17yrs I was with my ex I no longer speak to. Friends that I had since age 5 are gone.  My work friends whom I spent 11 hours a day with have dissapeared in the wind. There is this ache in my heart for these people that I know I can no longer speak with.  I am mad at the world that it has to be this way.  I am angry at everyone for making me choose....between Islam and my life.

During my moments like this I keep thinking of the love I have in my new family.  It will take time to build but the kindness that they have showed me make me feel ashamed that I miss the old family/friends.  I feel bad for my husband because of all the mood swings I go thru.  He watches me cry on a daily basis and he still loves me....Mashallah!  I would give anything to get out of this funk and be normal again.

Stress

Salaam world,

I am going to discuss what effect stress has had on me in my life.  We all have stress and we all cope differently.  I am only speaking for myself.  I am going to be honest here as I am obviously not managing it well on my own.  I need some help.

Two years ago I lost 60 lbs, quit smoking, quit my job, got a divorce, became a Mulsim, moved the the middle east, got a new job, got married.  Wheeewww....All of this in 2 years?!!!

Now...2011  .. I have gained back 40 lbs, want to quit my job, chew my nails off to nubs, my stomach burns as I feel the acid burning away my insides, my skin looks awful, my body hurts to the point of some days just standing in the shower crying.  My muscles in my neck are so tight its like i have tennis balls in there.   I can barely turn my head from side to side.  I have this impending sense of doom that lingers over me like a Thunderstorm cloud.  This feeling never really subsides.  I shout, I cry and at times I feel that I am not myself.
When I do fall asleep I do not sleep.  I toss and turn and have visions of Board Meetings and mean Arab men shouting at me to do this or do that(work).  My periods have become irregular ranging from 22 days to now 31(still waiting) and negative pregnancy.

How I cope.  I go for massage for my muscles which seems to be a slight relief.  I read the Quran which helps ease me to a degree but then I just end up with a head full of questions so I put it down.  I try to exercise but find myself saying to heck with it because by this time my stomach, back or neck is burning.

I am quitting my job which will be  A HUGE relief for me...Alhamdullilah!  This is a major source of my stress.  I cant even begin to tell you what I indure on a daily basis.  I am surprised I lasted this long.  No wonder I am a wreck.  Next, I am re enrolling in my gym.  I feel that this will be a place I can go after work to just be with me, my ipod and my treadmill.  Our new house is within walking distance so this will be good for me.

Anyone have anymore suggestions for me?  I could use some help....especially on the body pain.  It's too much...

Let the countdown begin.

Salaam Everyone...

One month and counting.  One month before my husband gets married.  I am having my ups and downs with this.  I was hoping one day he would just say, "No baby, you are all I need."  but with the plans that are being made, I don't see that happening.  So now I have to switch my mindset to this is really going to happen to me.  Daisy, this is your life!

I have my good days and my bad days.  I tend to freak out at the late night click click's on the computer and have voiced my concern over the phone sms's.  He informed me the other day that she said she feels like he is already her husband.  I said, Excuse me?!  Ahhh , no she isn't!  You are my husband and until you do the contract and meet all the conditions, she is still not a mahram to you so I think its time to cool it.  I agree with a "get to know you phase" but then I think its time to "^%$#^ or get off the pot!" (American saying)  So he agreed and things seem to be a little better in our home.

I will write more later about my future co wife when I actually know more.  Right now I am on a need to know basis and I really don't want to know much..hahah.  I am staying out of this one from word go.  I think it is better the less I know at this point.  My body is going thru too much stress as it is.

On another note, we are getting ready to move into a new flat, really excited about that.  Learning a little more Arabic, had 2 interviews for a new job at one of the Worlds Largest Banks!  WOWOWOW!!  And I had an awesome birthday and my wonderful husband bought me an Ipad!  LOVE IT!!  The IRS is now completely paid off and I now officially have moved on from my old life.  This was the one thing that still tied me to my old marriage.

So,over all, my life is ok.  What will happen in the next few months?  Probably a few more freak out sessions and me threatening to walk.....who knows...hahah

I am back...With a few changes

Salaam to all of you out there...

I have been thinking of something to post all day to usher in "my grand return" but ultimately could think of nothing.  I debated on coming back, doing a different blog....but decided to come back.

 I have changed my name.  I don't want to be known as first wife anymore.  Time to move on.  So, my favorite flower is a Daisy, so Daisy it is.  :)

I don't have the urge to blog every day as before.  Maybe my guard is still up.  I just don't feel like peoples criticism is good for me right now.  Since I found out that one of my blogger followers is actually also and anonymous hatter, I feel compelled to keep up my guard.  Come to find out, "blogger in disguise" is actually happening a lot on blogs, so I have heard.  My "hater" came out of the wood work when I said I was going private.  This person informed me, and I quote, "yea right, just like you wouldn't allow anon comments b4 that didn't last long. whateva i'm a follower so i'll still have a good laugh of ur blog " 

I really think people have nothing better to do.

So, for now i am back.  Bruised and battered but InshaAllah, all in due time I will be back to my old self again, only better

New Blog

Working on a new blog...I will keep you all posted when I come back to the "world of blogging" 

A little help

http://imanspeace.blogspot.com/

Can you all check out my friends blog?  I have quite the problem being able to leave messages for some reason.  Could you all try to leave a message and see if it goes thru?

Thanks!

Private

This blog is going private in the next 24 hours.  If you would like me to add you, plz message me your email address.

Question for you all....

Salaam to all of you out there...

Would you or have any of you helped your husband find your co-wife?  Tell me about your experience with that.

I have tried a couple of times in the past.  Never works out.  Two actually came close this summer but eventually, it didn't materialize. 

I have decided it's best for me to stay out of it now....Inshallah, he is a big boy.  hahah  No need to worry about it now as he has found the one, inshallah.....

So, tell me.  Have you or would you help?

Thank you

I got so many wonderful feedback comments that I thought I would just write a "Thank You" post to all of you.

Yes, this is hard.. I wont lie.  But it is what it is.  Life is written for us before we were born.  I have faith in ALLAH (swt) that he wont let me down.  So I don't fear the unknown, I am just nervous.

There was a particular comment about polygyny being "anti-Islamic"  I don't mean to single you out habibti but you must know, that you are so far from the truth.  I have studied Islam now for almost 10 years, so no, I didn't just open the Quran and say "I believe".  Although we should.  The Quran is the word of God Almighty.  If you disbelieve in something in there, how can you say you truly believe?  There are many reasons a man would marry a second, third or even fourth wife but whatever the reason, he must remain fair.

God said he left no greater fitnah on earth for men than women.  If a man can not lower his gaze and keep himself from sin, than the choice to marry again is there for him.  Our ultimate goal in heaven so why make something halal into haram?

No two human beings are alike.  We are all made different but we have one thing in common......FREE WILL.  If you are not ok with polygyny, you DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.  You have the choice to not be in, as do I.  If you say, "Heck no, not for me"  No one is going to fault you for it.  I know I wont  What every "anti-polygyny" person has got to start to realize is this.....Just because you don't agree with it, doesn't make it wrong.

I love my husband.  More than words can express.  I want to help him be a better person.  Do I agree with the non halal way some men AND WOMEN go about meeting for marriage???  NO, I do not agree with it.  Late night computer chit chats, sms messages, phone calls....All of this leads to fitnah...May God forgive us all.  I do understand, that it is not only the fault of the man, but the weakness in the women as well.  Far too often the men get blamed for all of this.  If the women didn't pick up the phone or say to the man, here is my wali...call him, we wouldn't have this issue.  Inshallah, we will all be guided the right way.

My idea of a good "meet and greet" period is introduction, a few conversations, meeting with the prospective bride and her family, engagement, marriage..  This should not take more than a month.  There is no dating in Islam!!  I think this is what I have the biggest issue with.

My heart is pure.  My love is unconditional.  My love for ALLAH is endless.  I want to leave this life with nothing but halal goodness in my life.  I intend to do so.

Thank you and I love you all for the sake of ALLAH.....  :)

Really??? Would you like me to do the Happy Dance??!!

So I was told last night that he will be marrying soon.....YA ALLAH!  Then, in the same breath, I was told that"The search wont be over.  I want to marry another as well."

Really??

Who can I slap?.....

Need I say more????

Eric from True Blood...............Enough said..




Lower your gaze First Wife....Lower your gaze...


Even when he is angry he is a, a, .....ahhh... A good actor... Yeah, that's it!  He is a good actor..... (deep breath)

May God forgive me....LOL

Before I get any "omg, your a married woman" comment...Yes, I am married and my husband laughs at this "crush" of mine. This is a fictional character and I am not dead...LOL

Say what?????

Salaam to all of you out there...

I have some serious questions concerning language...haha..No, not with Rajh.  However him and I are still working out our own Nepal/Hindi/American version of a language... :)  My issues is with Arabic.  I understand the need for all of us to learn it.  It's the language of our Prophet(pbuh) and we need to learn to read the Quran and recite our prayers correctly.  My problem lies with the intermittent use of some Arabic words into our daily conversations with people who are of an English speaking background.  Just because I am a Muslim doesn't mean that all of a sudden I should "switch up" my English words with Arabic, does it?  I still receive email messages from some crazy polygyny group that I quit a while back...too extreme, and when I read them I just laugh.  They, and I, are Americans.  Why cant I call him, "my husband"?  Why does it have to be"zawj" or what ever term they use?  They will do all these "greetings" in Arabic...then say.."so and so is looking for "akhi", this is her "wakil" information.  Then they will throw in a little American English and say, "you can hit her up on facebook"... LOOOOL  When us as Americans take our Shahada, does it come with an obligatory duty to speak broken Arabic in our daily conversations?  I know a few reverts here in my country that do the same.  I greet with "Salaam Alaikmu, how are you".  Mind you, they are as English as English gets..LOL  They follow up with "Alaikum Salaam, jhak bar, schlolich zaina....hdlakfldjwoeijldkfjlsdjflejfoieldkjfoielj..."(During this time I just nod my head)

When I am speaking to an American Muslim or European Muslim, do I have to pretend we are Arabic?  What is so wrong with speaking English?  I struggle thru this language on a DAILY basis.  I would love to just be free to speak my own language with others that speak it as well.

So to all of my English speaking Muslim friends out there, "Salaam Alaikum!  How are you all doing today?  May Allah bless you and all of your family."

Intentions

Salaam Everyone...

My husband had good advice for me the other day.  That we shouldn't value our "worth" on what other people think or say.  Even if their actions are wrong and we feel it in our "gut" to be "right setters and truth tellers".  It's best for us to let it go and not let it eat away at us.  Our intention is what counts.  If you feel you have done nothing wrong and your intention was pure, then why dwell on it?  Why give a second thought to what others say or think?  In the end you have to look at it this way, "Does your life depend on what has been said or done to you?"  "Will you stop breathing because of it?"  If not, then Khalas!  People will be people, they will perceive your thoughts or actions their own way.  Don't let them define who you are.  You are a good person no matter what.

He is so smart.

New post comming and random thoughts..

Salaam Everyone.....

I am in the process of preparing a Kick Ass blog post...I have gotten A TON of comments in regards to my husband and his wish to practice polygyny.  Even though it is permissible in Islam, some people still like to "hate"....  Most of my posts have been about my feelings in this process and my frustration with the situation.  I am compiling some question for him to answer.  These questions are the comments some of you have left, that's where I am getting my ideas.  So, stay tuned.  Inshallah, it will be a good post.

On another note, how many out there (women) find that you are constantly defending your husband to other people?  I have an AMAZING man but yet some women who visit my blog are constantly slamming his decision.  How do you deal with it?

Ohh,  did I mention how crazy in love with this man I am???  I am soooo glad his last few potential wives didn't work out.  They weren't good enough for him and ALLAH knows it... Mashllah!  All in good time the right one will come along.....Inshallah, then this crazy search will be over!  THANK GOD!  I think he and I will both need physciatric help before its done..  Him making me crazy with the "click click" of the computer keys and me and my "freak out" sessions...hahah  Honestly, his "click click's" have been getting less and less which in turn makes my freak outs go away as well.  Haha.  All the girls he has come across so far are either gold diggers, immature or just unwilling to enter polygyny.  **Big sigh**  I pray that what ever happens, she will be good for our family and not some young girl who is clueless or some old lady set in her ways...LOOOL  Or, I could hit the jack pot and have him too myself!!!  ( a girl can wish cant she??)

Changing it up a bit

Salaam....

Real quick post....I changed a few things on my post.  New Year, new me... :)  I have a new out look on life and it's time to focus on the positive and less negative.

In order to move forward you cant continue to look back....

Masalaama!!

Rajh's Office Story

Salaam to you all out there...

I thought that before I posted my latest Tales of The Office boy post, I would post a funny incident in which the tables were turned... Now Rajh has his own story to tell....about me.  The clueless American Lady who is supposed to be smart, educated, yada...yada..yada..LOOOl

So, I get to work last week after reading all of your wonderful comments on how to speak his language.  Mashallah!  Such wonderful comments.  And I want to thank each and everyone of you for the time you took to give me such advice......but I am afraid to say, you all wasted your time.  :(  Keep reading...

I took the time to learn some words to speak to him.  I was prepared that day when I proceeded to make a complete fool out of myself..lol

I started with the basics..Hi.  (mind you, I am thinking I am going to impress him with my vast knowledge).  Then I ask for water.  He is just staring at me.  He gets it, after looking at me like I have lost my mind,  and proceeds to bring water.  I thank him, in "his" language.  I have this up on my computer and I am flipping thru all of your comments as I am dazzling the office with my new found language of Hindi/Urdu...whatever the heck it was that was spilling from my mouth.  Our CEO/MD comes to work at this point and I am like...YEAH! Now I get to ask Rajh if the "boss is here"...As I struggle to say it perfect, he begins to laugh.  An uncontrollable laugh from the bottom of his gut, you know what I am talking about.  When the face turns red and its hard to breath?  Yeah, that kind of a laugh.    I am confused.  What is so funny?  Wait for it...............

Me:  What is so funny?
Rajh: That is Hindi
Me: Yes.. I learned it to talk to you.
Rajh:  I am from Nepal

Enough said......



My husband was right  I am the girl from the "American Bubble"