Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Salaam Everyone...

My husband had good advice for me the other day.  That we shouldn't value our "worth" on what other people think or say.  Even if their actions are wrong and we feel it in our "gut" to be "right setters and truth tellers".  It's best for us to let it go and not let it eat away at us.  Our intention is what counts.  If you feel you have done nothing wrong and your intention was pure, then why dwell on it?  Why give a second thought to what others say or think?  In the end you have to look at it this way, "Does your life depend on what has been said or done to you?"  "Will you stop breathing because of it?"  If not, then Khalas!  People will be people, they will perceive your thoughts or actions their own way.  Don't let them define who you are.  You are a good person no matter what.

He is so smart.


  1. Wa alaykum as salaam wa Rahmat Allah wa Barakatuh.

    Your husband is MUSLIM! THAT is what is so beautiful about being married to a good Muslim! They put things in perspective, because Allah gives them the right perspective. Al hamdul'Illah!

    Long ago I learned to "walk away," either physically or metaphorically. We are here to please Allah, that's our business. Those people who are all caught up in something else, are not waiting for us to set them right. Good people will not interpret things in an evil way. But with those who have painted you with the wrong brush, it's all about choosing your battles. Look at the situation and consider whether you saying something will draw them closer to the right, not make any difference, or push them farther away. If it is the former, fine, do your thing. If it is the second or the latter though, then best just to leave them to their own false musings.

    May Allah keep showering His blessings and mercy down on you - ameen!

  2. So true, when we have good intentions we really can have no worries or regret.People may perceive things one way or misinterpret but Allah knows our heart and our intentions behind everything. What anyone else thinks doesn't really matter.

  3. I agree with him, sometimes we "pleasers" think we can do whatever it may take to shape a person's good opinion of us. I learned to not care what people think, if I know I am trying to do good/be good. However, if I feel I wrong someone, then it bothers me.

    I found a new blog(it still appears to be under construction) of two co-wives chronicling their journey through polygyny
    Who's Night Is It Anyway?

    check it out.

    Feel Free to Follow Me!

  4. Salam,

    Very good words and very very true..Seems there are a few out there that think this way... You have a good marraige Masha'Allah!! I wish you both a beautiful & fruitful life together Insha'Allah!!

    Mrs. Khan

  5. I so much needed this right now!!! Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! :D

  6. Mashallah that sounds like good advice.

  7. Your post reminded me of this...

    “Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah – the Mighty and Majestic – and being cut off from Him; wasting your time with the person, a weakening of your energy, and the dispersing of your resolve. So, if you are tested with this – and you must be tested with this – deal with him according to how Allah would wish, and be patient with him as much as possible. Get closer to Allah and His Pleasure by way of this person, and make your getting together with him something to benefit from, not something to incur a loss from. Be with him as if you are a man who is on a road who was stopped by another man, who then asks you to take him on your journey. Make sure that you are the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the ride. If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from travelling with him, do not stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at him, as he is a highway robber, regardless of who he really is.
    So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and nights, and do not let the Sun set before you arrive at your destination.”
    Ibn al-Qayyim; ‘al-Wabil as-Sayyib‘

  8. Wa alaykum salam!
    That's great advice for people pleasers...mashaAllah!

  9. I just thought this was relevant, so beautiful ma shaa Allaah...

    عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ:
    " إِنَّ اللَّهَ إِذَا أَحَبَّ عَبْدًا دَعَا جِبْرِيلَ، فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أُحِبُّ فُلَانًا فَأَحِبَّهُ، قَالَ: فَيُحِبُّهُ جِبْرِيلُ، ثُمَّ يُنَادِي فِي السَّمَاءِ فَيَقُولُ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلَانًا فَأَحِبُّوهُ، فَيُحِبُّهُ أَهْلُ السَّمَاءِ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ يُوضَعُ لَهُ الْقَبُولُ فِي الْأَرْضِ. وَإِذَا اللَّهُ أَبْغَضَ عَبْدًا، دَعَا جِبْرِيلَ فَيَقُولُ: إِنِّي أُبْغِضُ فُلَانًا فَأَبْغِضْهُ، فَيُبْغِضُهُ جِبْرِيلُ ثُمَّ يُنَادِي فِي أَهْلِ السَّمَاءِ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُبْغِضُ فُلَانًا فَأَبْغِضُوهُ، قَالَ: فَيُبْغِضُونَهُ، ثُمَّ تُوضَعُ لَهُ الْبَغْضَاءُ فِي الْأَرْضِ".

    رواه مسلم (وكذلك البخاري ومالك والترمذي)

    On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

    "If Allah has loved a servant [of His], He calls Gabriel (on whom be peace) and says: 'I love So-and-so, therefore love him.'" He (the Prophet - peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "So Gabriel loves him. Then he (Gabriel) calls out in heaven, saying: 'Allah loves So-and-so, therefore love him.' And the inhabitants of heaven love him." He (the Prophet - peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Then acceptance is established for him on earth. And if Allah has abhorred a servant [of His], He calls Gabriel and says: 'I abhor So-and-so, therefore abhor him.' So Gabriel abhors him. Then Gabriel calls out to the inhabitants of heaven: 'Allah abhors So-and-so, therefore abhor him.'" He (the Prophet - peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "So they abhor him, and abhorrence is established for him on earth."

    [Muslim (also by al-Bukhari, Malik, and at-Tirmidhi).]

    Listen to the Arabic here


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