Wednesday, October 13, 2010
How I will live polygyny in my future
I was recently asked how I plan to live polygyny in my life. I am going to do my best to answer that question although as we all know, what we want and what ALLAH(SWT) has in store for us are two separate ideas..haha
First of all, I love the idea of one big family. I want us to all be friends and love each other not only for the sake of ALLAH but because we are genuinely doing it for the sake of family. InshaAllah... I want us under one roof, with separate areas for us.( No, we WILL NOT SHARE THE BEDROOM) I want us to eat as a family. I want us to shop together, talk together, go to family outings together and discuss issues as a family. I want our children to grow up all together and always have ALL parents around to nurture and take care of them and instill strong Islamic ties to community and family, InshaAllah!
I don't like the fact that some Muslims live separate lives. One day here, one day there. Never co existing and pretending that the other family doesn't exist. Now, I understand that there are cases where there is no other option. I don't agree with hate and backbiting. Some women just CAN NOT AND WILL NOT share their lives. For the sake of the family,and their sanity, then it is best to keep it separated.
I just know what I want out of life. I want a large HAPPY family. I want not only a co wife but a sister. I think this can be accomplished but it will take patience and prayer and hard work. I think finding the right person to join your family is tough, but the time it takes to find that person will be well worth it in the future.
What do you all think? Is it possible? Am I living in a fantasy world? Would you be willing to not only share your husband but your life with another woman? Do you think its possible to put aside your preconceived notions on what you "think" is the right way and try to make it work? Trust me, I don't think it will be easy but I do think it's what is best for the family and the children you will have.
Remember, there is no need to judge....this isn't court.