Monday, October 18, 2010

Still no change

Salaam World,

Not much change in how I feel today.  I got some wonderful feedback from all of you and thinking of your kind words is helping me get by.  I still want to run.  On the show Sister Wives, the husband Cody said that wives can handle a wife better than they can handle a girlfriend. Sooo true!  I cant handle this situation now and I am trying to put on the happy face but its just hard!

Anyway, I wont complain today.  Thanks again everyone. 


  1. Salam Sis,

    I ahve been trying to reach you on here, but again cant leave msgs. You need to let your husband know how bad you feel. You are not going to be okay. And you dont need to jump into Islam and then polygamy all so fast.
    I mean Alhumdallah you are Muslim but Im afraid this could push you over the edge. I have tried to see you on msngr but your not there, perhaps you blocked me? I am so sorry if I said anything to offend you.
    Again HE NEEDS TO KNOW, and you need to tell him that this may make you walk.
    Sister do you realize how many good brothers would dream of having one new Muslim (not to mention blond hair and blue eyes) as an ONLY wife, kids or not! So many brothers love us because we are low maintenence, and they get ajar in teaching us.
    I dont want you to leave, but I also dont want you suffering. My God how long have you been married? Cant he enjoy you for a while? This is just not the norm even in very rekigious brothers, even salafi, they many times take 2 or 3 wives (even 4) but not right after getting married!

  2. dear Huda,

    The sister does not need to hear " you will not be okay" Thats really re-assuring to hear!

    I dont know if you were trying to be funny by saying brothers would want her for being a new muslimah who is low maintenance and has blond hair. Um any kind of man who has those kind of standards is not the kind of man the sister wants, and anyway its totally out of the question, cant you see shes already MARRIED?

    Trying to entice her by saying she can be an ONLY wife when she probably has a great husband who looks after her is really bad advice. Do you honestly think the sister will sacrafice her marriage to a great person just for the sake of being an only wife? Did it ever occur to you that many only wives lead difficult lives because the man was not a good person to start with.

    My Advice to American muslimah:

    Please do not take advice from sisters who come with "poor you" talk. Usually their advice is insincere and empty. The lack of understand of the Sunnah has brought so many people to critize Polygany.

    You are more like Prophet Muhammad's wives than I am. Masha'Allah.

    Ultimatley it is Allah swt who conquers our hearts, knowing that we are able to sacrafice alot, or even a little bit of our husband's time, knowing that this will make someone else's lives better.

    If you are truly suffering then I will make dua for you. But not to have your circumstances change, but for your heart to chance to meet your circumstance. This is the best advice I can give you, that Allah can change everything around us to meet our wants but true true happiness can only come when we want what Allah wants.


  3. Thank you for the advice sisters.. No, I have no intention on leaving my husband. I love him and I am where I need to be. Life could be worse. Alhamdulilliah...I am taken care of and loved. Its just hard for me to understand the thoughts of men sometimes. Learning Islam and Learning Polygyny are turning out to be more difficult than I have immagined.. :) Inshallah, Allah will ease my hurt...and guide us all......

  4. Salam
    Slave to Allah:

    Sister I just took a look at your blog, mashallah, tabarakallah, may Allah reward you for your good intentions.


Life is too short to be hateful. Just because you disagree with something, doesn't make it wrong. I welcome your comments but please refrain from being hateful. :)