Thursday, October 14, 2010
Waking up in Vegas
As Salaam Alaikum Everyone!
I am so glad the weekend is almost here. I need a break. My dear husband is away at a conference and I have some serious me time. I love it! He ladies, isn't it true that we get soooo much more accomplished when they are and about? Funny how sometimes the men in our lives seem to consume so much of our time. Haha.
Anyways, this isn't the point of this post. (Although good for a future topic) It's been 2 yrs ago this week that I took a girls trip to Vegas. Yes, me, pious Muslim woman went to Vegas. (This was pre-conversion to Islam) No men, just us girls. Haha. We had an awesome time. I loved the fact that finally I had a girls trip away. All of us talked about it but never did it. I am glad that I did do things like that. I have good memories to look back on. Loosing all my money, not a good memory. Time with good friends, VERY GOOD MEMORY. I don't speak to them anymore. I am glad I have that memory of us all.
That was just a few months before I converted to Islam and changed my life completely. I look back on that time and wonder how I had the strength to do it, change my life. I remember coming home from Vegas and seeing my ex-husband. I was very happy to see him, but then the next day, it went right back to the "empty" relationship that each of us were too afraid to admit. I knew then, in Vegas, that my life had to change. What was supposed to bring me happiness just brought me sadness. Every where I looked for it,all I found was just dispair. Sitting at a slot machine, sure is fun if you win. If you don't, IT SUCKS. Being in a long term committed relationship with comfort and stability is nice, but if you are two people yet feeling alone, IT SUCKS.
So I take my time in Vegas as a "Wake up call". Something was missing in my life and I knew what it was. It wasn't a fancy car, nice house, gambling, smoking, being "married". It was inner peace, and Faith. Once I found that, leaving all the rest behind was easy. I am not saying leaving a 17yr relationship was easy, but I knew it wasn't doing any of us any good to live unhappy. I had found ALLAH(swt) and accepted Islam 100%. It made sense to me. That's all that mattered!
So, Vegas.... You may have taken my money, wasted my time but in the end.. THANK YOU! Thank you for making me see the light...ALHAMDULLIAH!!!