Thursday, December 16, 2010

Christmas or No Christmas

Salaam Blooger World...

So I have a question for all my Revert Brothers and Sisters out there.  How do you handle Christmas?  Do you aknowlage it with your Christian Family?  Is there an exchange of cards or gifts on either end?

This is year number 2 with out Christmas for me.  Last year didnt bother me so much but I have to say this year I am missing it.  I never had a religious family therefore never a "Religious Christams".  Gifts and food, thats it.  I miss the festivities.  The baking cookies, Christmas music in the stores, trees and candles.  Family and friends .... Nothing like that here.

Do any of you incorporate it into your family?  I know its not the thing for us Muslims to partake in Kufar holidays but if it is our culture(american) and not religious, then is it ok?

I could use some advice here...I am new to all of this....



  1. I see no problem with sending a gift or card to your Christian friends or family, since from what I understand, Jews and Christians are mentioned in the Koran. I as a Christian have no problem sending an appropriate and respectful acknowledgment to a Jewish or Muslim friend or family member for their holiday or when the time comes...have a blessed Eid or Ramadan such as the case may be! You will have to let me know what the Muslim tradition is since I have no real experience with the Muslim faith. :)

  2. my Muslim friend dropped off a Christmas Card at my desk today at work. She was showing her respect. It doesn't mean that she doesn't give up any of her own faith at all. And the same when I send an E-card to a friend of a different religion...I don't lose my religion at all...It shows respect for their choice.

  3. Salam alaykum First wife!
    I say things like 'enjoy your holidays' or 'hope you have a good time with your family' but I don't say 'merry christmas/happy new year/happy easter'. If someone says 'merry christmas' to me, I reply, 'Thanks!' and unashamedly don't reply. Why feel guilty, I think? I don't believe it is ok to celebrate even the non-religious holidays as we Muslims are told that we have two Eids, Eid al-Adha and Eid ul-Fitr. But I'm not being the haram police, just saying what I do, not telling others what they should or should not do.

    A friend of mine who is a few months new to Islam is having a lot of problems with this, especially due to her kids. She had to leave her (now ex) husband as he didn't wish to convert to Islam - & they were having problems anyways and were just going through the motions of being a couple. She doesn't know how to deal with her family and her (ex) mother-in-law etc coming into Christmas time...she asked me what to do, I said maybe she could go over after the traditional lunch and presents opening so as not to take part in the rituals. And if people want to give her gifts then why make them upset by refusing? There's plenty of time during the year to explain that Muslims don't celebrate Christmas and we can accept presents all through the year at any other time!!! hint hint :D

    Remembering the cultural holidays like easter/christmas of my childhood brings good memories for me. I enjoy seeing the hot cross buns at easter, I enjoy seeing the christmas lights and nicely decorated trees, but I enjoy it from the outside looking in. I now look at it like I would look at any other religion's festivities, that is, I don't feel any loss because I make the most of my religion's festivities and get right into that. We have the togetherness and closeness to Allah of Ramadan, the celebration of Eid ul-Fitr and the specialness of Eid al-Adha and sharing of the adiya afterwards.

    I hope you find peace...

  4. We celebrate the fun side of christmas in our house ie: Santa, Christmas Tree and Roast Turkey.
    My daughter also takes part in the christmas play/nativity along with all the other muslim kids at her school, just they do not actually take part in the nativity scene part, they have a non religious role.

    Santa visits our house christmas eve and I cook a large Christmas Dinner. As all my family are christian and I am the only muslim, we have allowed my daughter to enjoy the christmas season. In my opinion Christmas Trees, Roast Turkey and Santa have nothing whatsoever to do with Religion and thats the bit we enjoy.

  5. Oh my dear.. only your 2nd season!! MashaAllah!!! I personally do not celebrate and will not take part in anything that so far as resembles Christmas... but of course, our families are non-Muslim, so it is their prerogative to send or not send gifts. At first, I would argue with my mother about it and would not even accept any gifts.. but later I was taught that we must accept gifts when they are given. The important thing is for us NOT to send gifts at this time, or partake in any of their celebrations. There are another 11 months in the year to give each other gifts!! I just received a box from my mom a few days ago... gifts for us and the kids. This will be my 19th season... and she still insists on doing this.. it makes her feel good! :D

  6. Thanks for the comments everyone... I still struggle with this even though I know in our religion we arent supposed to celebrate it. I just miss certain aspects of it. I know one thing for sure, no way would my husband allow a Christmas tree in the house...haha

    @UmmUmar...Yep..only 2 years..I converted to Islam in March of 2010. There is still alot I have to learn and get used too..

    @Louise... Yes, the fun side....Thats what I miss!! Enjoy your holidays!!

    @Ahuul.. I agree with you about our EID holidays..I just wish they were a bit more festive. I hear stories about how Eid is celebrated in the States. I wish it were like that here. Nope, we get all dressed up, go to prayer and dinner with the family. Then home. Thats it. Too bad its like that. Inshallah, I will change that soon in this family.. wish me luck.. :)

    @mjblues. Yes, Christians and Jews are mentioned in the Quran but it is also mentioned that we are not to partake in their holidays. It may be easy for Muslims that lived like this their whole life but for me, I know the other "side of the coin" so to speak. By aknowloging the Christian and Jewish holidays, we would say that we agree with them. Which we dont. Hence my issue. I dont agree with the Religious aspect of it, but I do miss the Culture behind it. I just wish their was a happy middle ground.

    What I think I may do is start my own tradition. Be more festive at more gifts, more outings, more fun and games. When Christmas time come around maybe I will bake some cookies from my Grandmas old recipe book. Start that traditon with my children. Inshallah

  7. I see no problem with sharing the cultural side of the Christmas season, ie...the food and such..if you should be blessed with children then they should know the American side as it were...but with all respect..I don't see how sending a card or a gift to family would be partaking of the religious aspect of Christmas. For me the religious aspect means going to the Christmas Eve service at my church as opposed to all of the hoopla over food and decorations and gift-giving. I think on a certain level, Christmas insofar as it is thought of in America has become a secular/non religious holiday and has lost much of it's Christian/religious meaning. But- thanks for the insight of what you are struggling with..and I hope that you find answers and solutions to your personal jihad :) hope I understand the meaning there, and hope I cause no offense, as even Christians have their struggles and crisis of faith. :) I would like to believe that no matter what our faith or belief is..that we are truly all in this together. With all that said, remember as far as I am concerned, I hope that first and foremost,you do what is right in your heart as your new faith leads you so that you may find peace and contentment- and that is my Christmas wish for you. :)

  8. Salam,

    I reverted 2 years ago, my husband and I agreed that with my family ( I am the only Muslim) we wont celebrate the religious part but we will partake with the dinner and exchange of gifts. We dont have kids yet so we buy gifts to my handsome nephews. Last year was our first year as a married couple. Chritmas time we spent it with his family. They dont celebrate it just make it inot a "bar-b-que" it made me feel good that they bought presents for my parents and wished them happy christmas. This year we are spending time with my parents (yes we alternate holidays) We have bought presents for the kids, we will go to mass with my parents but not partake in any prayer, ritual of the church.

    I guess what I am trying to say is as long as you are comfortable and your intention is pure Allah will see and Insha'Allah have mercy and forgive us if we are making a mistake...


    Mrs. Khan

  9. Salaam aleikum,

    I don't want to be a party-pooper here but we all have to be careful what we think is acceptable and what the true ruling of partaking in non-Muslim religious holidays are.

    You can say all you want that you are just doing the fun part of Christmas and not doing any of the religious stuff.. but to the Christians, the fun part is the whole of how they celebrate this holiday.

    I know there are people that will disagree with this because they want to find an excuse to keep doing it even though they shouldn't.

    But at the very least we should acknowledge we are doing something wrong if we partake in any of the way they celebrate Christmas so that we can try to slowly go away from it.

    For instance, instead of giving gifts to your non-Muslim friends/family on Christmas, you can send them gifts on our two Eids. You can include a greeting card explaining what these Eids are for Muslims so they start to get familiar with our holidays as well.

  10. I agree with you 200% Twizzle!! Thanks for putting it out so nicely! :D

  11. Wonderful comments!! By the looks of some of the responses, this seems to be a topic that a lot of us reverts need to seek advice and knowlege for. I struggle with the culture aspect of it but you all have made a lot of good points. I have done my research and know what is best. Inshallah. As for my Christmas cookies. They can always be made any day out of the year.

    And for the comment from this Sister going to Church, a Catholic Mass. I see that you reverted the same time I did, Mashallah!! For 2 years we have been learing of our wonderful religion. We have to feel blessed that we are now in the "light" so to speak. I pray that you do all the research and "homework" so to speak on this particular issue. Learn about Idols and the Christian religion. I remember Catholic Churches.....they are full of statues. Even if you dont pray their prayers, you are in there. Not good. I am no scholar, NOT EVEN CLOSE...but I know this is wrong on so many levels. Please sister, avoid this ..... I think we reverts have a duty upon ourselves to be strong in the face of our "old ways". Its hard to find that fine line between extremisim and conservative. But there is no line when it comes to right and wrong. No grey area. We have to make ourselves obediant to ALLAH swt....I agree with the sister that said we have 2 holidays....our EID. Lets learn to make that festive and fun.

    I thank you all for the wonderful advice!!! Mashallah! If I have offended anyone in my comments, I am sorry.

  12. Salam,

    I just want to apologize to you and the other sisters if I disrespected anyone... yes I reverted two years ago and I am still learning... I barely have found a Masjid that has a program for reverts so I sometimes feel fusturated at things I do not understand. Talking to my mentor discussing youre blog she did agree that what I was planning on doing with my parents was wrong... I didn't know and I hope Allah will have mercy on me and grant me forgiveness.

    I ask you all sister to please forgive me. I Love Islam and the last thing I want to do is disobey Allah, I love my parents but I'm sure they will understand...

    Thank you for not judging me or insulting me... These two years have been hard on me... I have been rediculed by others that I just know the bit that I read in the Qu'ran and the only website I go too, which doesnt have alot of details of Islam.

    Again I want to apologize in cause I disrespected anyone, this was not my intention. I am just trying to learn more about Islam and see how I can have a balance with my family as well.. I have been away for 8 years, missed out on a lot with them. I just dont want to keep missing more..

    You have a beautiful blog... I hope you dont mind me to keep posting comments or asking questions...


    Mrs. Khan

  13. @Mrs. Khan.... MASHALLAH!! MASHALLAH!!! May ALLAH accept your repentence and I NEVER will mind you asking questions or posting comments on my blog....
    I know what you are going thru. It is hard to forget our past and we dont want to dissapoint our family, especially our parents. I too am the only Muslim in my family. Inshallah, I pray they find their way to Islam...AMEEN.
    I know how hard it is to find the answers to your questions. I sturggle with that as well. You never know who is giving you the right advice or if you are crossing over into extremist Islam. All I can tell you is that you are in a good place to ask questions. There are a lot of Sisters on my blog that are knowlegable and can answer your questions. Also a good site to go to is huda tv website and islam City website. Islam q&a is ok as well. However, I find them to be a bit extreme, women not driving...etc etc...What I do is gather my information from differnt sources as well as ask questions. I find that Reverts to Islam are the most knowlegable as we are the ones that read and read and read to seek the information. My husband grew up Muslim and there are some things he isnt aware of.
    One thing I do with my family is I always will call them on our Muslim occasions...When they say, "what are you doing today", it gives me a good time to explain Eid, or Muharam fasting..etc etc.....
    Please sister, dont let the ridicule of others hurt you. For ALLAH knows your intention and if your intention is pure....then you know you are doing just fine.
    I will do my best in the next few days to gather some sites that I go to to learn surahs, english Quran online and some good information to give to you...Inshallah...We can learn more on Islam and strengthining our deen together....


Life is too short to be hateful. Just because you disagree with something, doesn't make it wrong. I welcome your comments but please refrain from being hateful. :)