So my night ended pretty good last night. Ended up going and getting an AMAZING facial with my sister in law! Wow...thats another good perk of living in the Middle East...there are Spas everywhere and you can get just about everything done for a very good price....LOVE IT!!
Came home...and crawled into bed and the next thing I know is I am getting the Biggest bear hug in the world from my husband...ALHAMDULLIAH!! I love his so much and just little things like this mean the world to me.. He told me he loves me so much and thinks of me all the time. He never wants to see me sad and that we have one life and who knows what tomorrow will bring, so be happy! He told me I am all his, there is no one else....so why be sad?
You know what? He is right!
So my crappy day turned out good....No more polly pissy pants...(My ex husband used to call me that..haha)
Alhamdullilah what great news =) May Allah (swt) always bless you and your family and fill your heart and life with happiness. Ameen
ReplyDeleteMabrook! Mabrook!!!! Aren't they just adorable when they want to be?!!! I'm truly happy for you and hope you'll be able to move forward in a positive way from now on!! ..and what do you know..!! GO FOR A FACIAL EVERY WEEK!!! I would.. :D
ReplyDeleteit is very typical for an arab to want to marry a virgin arab girl...for his family, i guess? and of course she will be younger than him. he married you out of compassion...like in the olden days when men married widows and stuff..you have the power of love over him, use it! love him everyday and he will never stray. how much older, or younger is he from you, and is he us citizen...just questions to understand the second wifey thing...i'm trying to figure this guy out...sorry if i'm nosey, but i think something is bothering him. has he ever married before? your blog has got me going on this subject now.. and i don't mean to offend with my questions or comments. al-determined
ReplyDeletep.s. i am a girl blogger, i'm just going to use that name till i get some good advice for you...just don't get preggos yet
ok Anonymous 9:10...LOOL lets answer your questions as yes, some of them I do take offence too..... #1) Yes, it is typical for Arab men to marry virgins. I, obviously am not. I am not sure I said he is looking for a virgin, but if I did, I appologize. He is not. Of course I am sure he wouldnt turn it down, but that is not his objective. He did NOT MARRY ME OUT OF COMPASSION.....we married out of love. I am not trying to "toot my own horn" but I am a good catch, no need for a pitty marriage done out of compasion. And I do my best every day to show him I love him. I have my moments but alhamdulillah most of my bad days he does not see. I am not worried about him "straying" as you call it. He fears ALLAH and will only go with in the bounds of halal resources. As for our age difference...I am only 3 years older than him and no, he is not a US citizen nor ever wants to be. Maybe one day we will go to the US but that is a long way off if ever. Things are good for us and his business here in the Middle East. I am his first marriage. If he wanted a virgin bride he could have had one. He is a good catch and was approached many times for marriage but ALLAH has something in store for all of us....for him that was me. :) So no, nothing is bothering my husband...hahah he is fine. As for getting pregnant...that will happen if ALLAH wills it. It hasnt happened yet because it isnt the right time. May never be, who are we to determine that? Inshallah, it will happen all in good time....
ReplyDeleteI hope I answered your questions. I am sorry sis, but I DID AND DO take offense to you "assuming" he married me out of pitty or compasion. If I read into that wrong, please set it stratight....haha
Glad you are having an awesome day. So happy for you. Wow nice spa day that sounds lovely. Dont let haters steal your joy. Enjoy every moment everyday. Your hubbie sounds really sweet, def enjoy this time together.
ReplyDelete@Anon its rude to say to another woman "just dont get preggers"
re. anonymous # 1 statement: if you are having thoughts about 'bouncing' if the guy takes another wife, I don't think "don't get preggers' is irrational advice. Once you have his baby, you will be tied to him for life, and it will be hard for you to leave, let alone destructive for the child for the parents to be separated. Also, I think she meant 'straying', as in "marrying another".
ReplyDeleteI don't think 'loving him enough' will change his outlook. Some men are just more inclined to monogamy than others. And even though you may have married for love (which implies that you may have known each other a while before you got married? and maybe that's why you consented to such an arrangement), bear in mind that he has from the outset openened himself to cut his time spent with you by at least half, and up to 75% should the opportunity arise....
ReplyDelete@Anonymous 10:24..... My thought on bouncing if my husband takes another wife is a common thought amoung first wives. Like I said before, saying and doing are two differnt things. Will I leave....most likely no. Does it make me feel better to say I will??? Your damn right it does! In the end, I love my husband. Simple as that. As for becoming pregnant....I am going to be 34 yrs old and having a child with the man that I love would be a blessing for us. Would I have a child and then leave him?...No way in hell would that happen if I can help it.... As for the meaning of "straying" and "marring another"....Big difference between the two. Specify next time... Thanks for the comments! :)
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous 10:28... Yes, I married for love. I agreed to him wanting a second wife because I can not tell someone that someting made halal by ALLAH(swt) is haram. It is his right to marry just as it is the womans right not to accept that. My husband and I discussed it and we know eachothers rights. As for him giving up 50 to 75% of his time with me.. Nope, not in his plan. He wants a large villa with seperate living quarters. (seperate kitchens as well) Our time will be spent as a family. This is his wish and I believe that is why he is still searching for some one that is compatiable. Do I think it will happen? In a perfect world, yes, I would love it too. Not sure if my jealousy issues would let it happen. I do know this, he loves me and has no intention on spending 75% less time with me. That wouldnt fly in my house....
ReplyDeleteoh crap, i just read your response! i do apoligize for what i wrote.i did not mean to sound like an insult on the compassion part...my lack of intellegence. i also commented on a post somewhere else, i'll find it, but i don't think it was bad. i get lost in these blogs...well, i hope he never brings up getting married to another one, and let's you live in peace. i still think he has something wrong with him to want another wife...empty void, maybe childhood trama or seperation anxiety...i'll figure it out sooner or later, i need to keep reading... i feel like the oprah of this blog...you can put me in my place if i get out of line...i'll back track. al-detemined
ReplyDeletehere is a recipe to try on him: my husband loves it!
flann/caramel custard-
first boil 1 and 1/2c sugar and 1/4c.water till med golden color, darker if you like burnt taste. pour in dish to be used and set aside.now in a bowl put
3eggs
500ml milk or half liter
1 can sweet condense milk 8 oz- or 50gr sugar
tsp vanilla
wisk every thing together
pour in 8*8 dish or several small rafk- place in another pan with 2" of water. bake @ 375 for 45 mins don't let the top burn.let me know how it turns out.
@Anoymous 11:01 No worries..... I have just heard the "Western white Woman and Arab Muslim Man" theory waaaaayyy too many times for my liking!! LOL Anywho.....
ReplyDeleteYes!! Creme Caramel! We eat it all the time...always some in the refridgerator...Love it! Never ate it until I came to the middle east...Now I cant get enough of it.... Add that with bread at every meal and you get me, struggle with my weight...Sheeesh! Thanks for the comments :)
what do you mean by bouncing? what does that mean? if he plans on having a villa for the family with separate apartments to live in, he sounds very serious about this multi wife life. i'm starting to feel comfortable with the idea now, because i know situations of families in villas like that. it is private, and husband close by... and he has money!very good! maybe it is a good thing to start baby making now...does he want kids now? google best time to get prego [ovalation]al-determine
ReplyDeleteal-determine.... What I mean by "bouncing" is leaving. Not sure if I can do it. I have good days and bad days. Some days I am good with it and other days I am like...ahhhh no way! LOL. Like I said before, thinking and doing are two differnt things. I dont think I would ever leave. Not a lot of good men left out there in the world...I have a good one...alhamdulillah! Yes, we both want kids now. We are currently trying and have been. I am doing every thing I can. This is the last month and if nothing comes this time, Jan we will go see a fertility Dr...Inshallah...
ReplyDeleteoh...lol!! when did people start using that word[bouncing] for divorce? well, this is my thought on the matter...i would for sure stay with him since he is a lovely man to you. in the mean time,to help you keep your mind off the thought of wife#2, focus on a hobby like learning the language, which is essential to living in a foreign land. we all should at least try "saah" or keep working, you didn't quit your job, i hope. a job is money for you to save for your future in case something happens to your husband..but if you have a baby, better not to work...people here frown on it. can't have it all, oh, well. arabs love quilts..that's good if you like sewing. baby quilts! SWEET! growing old and being known for something special...still these are just thoughts. my sister makes simple quilts for everyone in the family and she is in demand by many...lol fun. i make the young girls in the family jewelry...the bling shiny sworovsky crystal kind. it can get SPEND DEE!lol. what i would love to do is learn about perfume...i love searching for the best fragrance that i like..you don't happen to live in the little country that makes AMOUAGE! if i could afford it i would buy everyone a bottle.. ahhh i love it..hehee. but ya,that is my next research hobbie...perfumery. i'll figure out what it's really called, unless someone else knows that is reading this post. o.k. i have to throw something smarty in the post...here goes:ask your husband if he is going to help change poopy diapers everyday for two families..get it? my husband," forgeta bout it" lol. al-detemine
ReplyDelete@al detemine.... You are awesome:) Love reading your comments... You make excelent points. Nope, I havent quit my job yet. I still plan on it though. I would like to take some more Islamic finance classes. My job may be giving me a raise and sponser me in my classes. If so, great...if not, then I will quit. As for working with a baby....no, I wouldnt want to. Not for a while at least. One good thing about my husband is that the choice is always mine. He likes that I work...I am indepenant and not in the house going crazy..hahah....
ReplyDeleteLove your hobbies! I crotche(sp). I used to do it all the time then I stopped. When I went back to Wisconsin, my Grandmother gave me some yarn and hooks...soooo , I am starting again....
Amouage? hmmm.. I will ask my husband. Not sure. I live in a little country but not sure if they do this.
"Amouage" is made in Qatr. My husband is an expert of "Ittr".. and Arab perfumes... "Bakhoors", etc, etc... He makes his own "Mukhallats" (mixtures) so I've picked up a few things here and there! I must say, after going "Arab" (on perfumes that is) I will never go back to "Western".. these scents are "off the hook"!! ..I've never tried Amouage.. too expensive! but do loooove "Montale"!!! and "Ajmal"...hope this helps :D
ReplyDeleteoh, ya crocheting! my youngest sister can do that. one time she had my oldest son sitting and doing it..that was so funny..he made a piece of nothing, but got into it long enough to no how to do it..everyone likes the big crochet blankets/throws.my family covers the couches or chairs with them. my mother in-law likes them too, she sits on the floor and covers herself with throws...she even sleeps on the floor...actually everyone sleeps on the floor on the weekends when the house fills with family...by friday everyone goes home to sleep in their bed..lol. i'm right there with them, though..lol what is islamic finance classes? is that accounting? oh, and i just have to point out the weather climate difference from ws and where you're at now...DANG! as the locals say "bayrrd" [cold]..i'm sure you now that one.hehe. al-determine
ReplyDelete@ummumarny, your my best friend...lol. do you have a blog with the arab perfume and mixes that you mentioned...i just want to dabble in it a little for a hobbie and need some where to start...thanks. al-determine
ReplyDelete